About two weeks ago I woke up with the fires of hell burning in my throat.
I knew the feeling well. When I got up to go get some water my worst fears were confirmed – “Man Flu” and, as I uttered those two feared words, the whole world collapsed in on itself like a dying star.
Down the rabbit hole of misery and loathing I tumbled, the shaking head of my wife the last thing I recall as I descended into the darkness that all men know, recognise and will confirm willingly is probably the worst thing any human will ever endure.
Child birth? Please.
Having a limb amputated in the old west with nothing but whiskey for anaesthetic? A breeze I tell you.
The Black Death, Malaria, having to listen to 10 hours of parliamentary speeches . . . nothing compares to the sheer horror of Man Flu, no matter how many rolling eyes it generates from the female species.
“Stay away from the light” my male friends offered sage-like advice.
“Why don’t you up your dose of Silverlab Colloidal Silver” offered my wife, mildly interested in my woeful face.
So I did (both) and here’s what happened.
No silver bullet but it helps, a lot.
Don’t get me wrong, Colloidal Silver is not a miracle flu-substance that belongs on an infomercial featuring people with fake smiles and American accents – no, but it most certainly does help boost your immune system and, of course, that helps you fight off disease.
I’d been taking my “daily dose” of 10ml Silverlab Colloidal Silver and upped that to 40ml, 3 X a day. I further made use of their nasal spray to help clear the nasal passages and I added a bunch of other, more conventional, vitamins and things too.
As any man will tell you . . . when the Four Horsemen of the Man Flu Apocalypse descend from the skies to claim their pound of flesh, you reach for everything that has some health benefits.
The difference, this time, is that the flu did not fully mutate into the monster of years gone by. Instead it stayed in one place, glaring at me with mild disgust before slowly retreating from my borders.
A few days later I flew to Italy, emerging in Rome having escaped quarantine or any worsening flu-like symptoms.
What the guys at Silverlab say
“Let’s be clear, Silverlab Colloidal Silver is not a ‘cure all’ for conditions like a runny nose, congestion, bronchitis and other flu-like symptoms but, many of those can be alleviated through the correct use of the products,” says Silverlab MD, Ian McQueen. “We suggest following this guide or, if you are unsure, you are welcome to contact our office for added guidance. Either way the correct applications should help ease your suffering – if not in totality certainly substantially.”
A hero to my people?
Having beaten the “Man Flu” I am now free again to walk amongst my (male) friends a hero, a bastion of hope, a beacon of light in the fight against that horrible intrusion that no woman will ever fully comprehend.
. . .
Joking aside I’m just glad to have avoided its full force although, I’m betting, my wife is the happier party.
And that’s cool, too.